This Fast Food Birthday Cake Is Disgustingly Ingenious


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Grab some tissues and strap in. All of your dreams are about to come true in the most delicious way.

At some point in your life, you stop believing in magic. You learn Santa shops at the mall and looks suspiciously like your parents. You find out the Keebler Elves don't really make your cookies. Then you have to start paying rent. Is there anything less magical than rent?

But once in a great while, something comes along so spectacular that your inner child starts bouncing around in your ribcage, reigniting the magic in your soul. You remember how cool dinosaurs are. You regain hope that you still have secret superpowers you just don't know about yet. The food mastery you are about to witness is one such event. It might be as close as we ever get to a miracle…or a heart attack that's equal parts cholesterol and excitement. Either way, it's unforgettable.

Layer one is a deep-dish pizza from Domino's. But we're just getting started.

Layer one is a deep-dish pizza from Domino's. But we're just getting started.

Imagur / miltonlai

Layer two is comprised of chicken nuggets, the building blocks of joy.

Layer two is comprised of chicken nuggets, the building blocks of joy.

Imagur / miltonlai

The nugget halo makes a well for some McDonald's fries and renewed faith in the human spirit.

The nugget halo makes a well for some McDonald's fries and renewed faith in the human spirit.

Imagur / miltonlai

That's another pizza. Is anyone else getting emotional?

That's another pizza. Is anyone else getting emotional?

Imagur / miltonlai

If you weren't tearing up before, you will be after you see this layer of double cheeseburgers.

If you weren't tearing up before, you will be after you see this layer of double cheeseburgers.

Imagur / miltonlai

Marvel at yet another pizza. Let the shock and awe wash over you.

Marvel at yet another pizza. Let the shock and awe wash over you.

Imagur / miltonlai

This next layer is not for the faint of heart. It's about 36,000 pieces of fried chicken that are floating on a sea of cheese like artery-clogging synchronized swimmers.

This next layer is not for the faint of heart. It's about 36,000 pieces of fried chicken that are floating on a sea of cheese like artery-clogging synchronized swimmers.

Imagur / miltonlai

In this final layer, we introduce mashed potatoes and gravy. Yeah, gravy. It's a great time to be alive.

In this final layer, we introduce mashed potatoes and gravy. Yeah, gravy. It's a great time to be alive.

Imagur / miltonlai

Add candles to uphold birthday tradition, but know in your heart that there is nothing the birthday boy could wish for that would ever top this masterpiece.

Add candles to uphold birthday tradition, but know in your heart that there is nothing the birthday boy could wish for that would ever top this masterpiece.

Imagur / miltonlai

This kind of pure, unadulterated joy only comes but a few times in life, and that's if we're lucky.

This kind of pure, unadulterated joy only comes but a few times in life, and that's if we're lucky.

Imagur / miltonlai

The person who made this will never have to go through life with the sinking feeling that they never accomplished anything of monumental importance.

The person who made this will never have to go through life with the sinking feeling that they never accomplished anything of monumental importance.

Imagur / miltonlai

They'll know that they achieved true greatness.

They'll know that they achieved true greatness.

Imagur / miltonlai

Let's just hope this cake came with the number for a good cardiologist.

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