Classic video games live on thanks to how timeless they are, but also in part due to modern gamers finding delight in revisiting them in hopes of beating them as quickly as possible. They call them speed-runs. There are enough loopholes and glitches in these classic games to allow for gamers to blaze through them in ridiculous amounts of time, making most of us feel pretty silly for those endless hours of time in front of a television only to be met with a “GAME OVER” screen for our troubles.
So when Stephen Colbert had Super Mario Bros. 3 speed-runner Mitch Fowler on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert he decided to concoct a challenge for him. That challenge is to see if Fowler could complete Super Mario Bros. 3 in less time than it takes Colbert to nuke and devour a Hot Pocket, while both were competing against the Columbia University men’s relay team who raced to run a mile.
Fowler, clad in his Twitch gear, went into battle against his opponents. Colbert made a crucial early mistake in not setting the timer properly on his microwave, which gave an edge to both Fowler and the runners and put Colbert’s back against the wall. The race was hotly-contested, with all three just about ready to cross their respective finish lines when an unlikely competitor pulled ahead to clinch victory from the jaws of defeat.
If only all Twitch speed-runs were this ridiculous.