Yankees vs. Red Sox. Cardinals vs. Cubs. Mets vs. LOLMets. These are some of the most storied rivalries in Major League Baseball history. But they’re like a mid-August game between Atlanta and Oakland compared to a clash against sparing titans in Japan’s Nippon Professional Baseball: Sadako vs. Kayako.
Before the Hokkaido Nippon-Ham Fighters played the Yakult Swallows in the Sapporo Dome earlier this week, the ceremonial first pitch was thrown out by the girl from The Ring, Sadako Yamamura, to the girl from The Grudge, Kayako Saeki. It was a totally bizarre stunt to promote the new movie, Sadako vs. Kayako (out June 16), where, I assume, the victor has to fight whoever won Freddy vs. Jason, Alien vs. Predator, and Ecks vs. Sever in a ladder match.
(It won’t be Ecks or Sever.)
My money’s on Kayako over Sadako because, based on what happened during the first pitch, it’s clear she has a good swing, and can apparently tag-team in her creepy son, Toshio. Now that’s how you make baseball fun again. MLB should actually steal this idea from Japan. No one wants to see a boring banker or local boy scout throw out the first pitch. Make it Batman, with the Joker or Harley Quinn at the plate. The baseball could be an actual bat.