Before we get into this, let me just tell you that becoming best friends with Rihanna is basically my ultimate life goal.
And judging by these photos, this guy is officially living my dream. Lorenz Valentino's Instagram page is filled to the brim with photos of him hanging out with the biggest celebrities in the world…all while wearing a dinosaur onesie. He is a hero.
Although this can all be chalked up to clever editing, he gets way closer to chilling with the likes of Gigi Hadid, Madonna, and Kim Kardashian than we ever will.
Here he is at Kourtney Kardashian's birthday party because I'm positive he received a legit invitation.
"Hey, Mark! This is cool but also screw your latest algorithm on every level!"
If you need me, I'll be sighing wistfully from now until the end of time.
Leave singing to professional singers? Nah.
Gigi Hadid's bone structure has NOTHING on Valentino's dino realness.
Nothing says "fun, sexy advice" quite like a bearded man in a dinosaur outfit.
She probably invited him on tour after this.
Honestly, Valentino isn't the weirdest one there.
I'd definitely trust him with a tattoo gun except not at all.
He's really invested in helping the Beckhams look their best.
This is the exact smile anyone would have on their face if Queen Jennifer Lopez professed her love to them.
Who's winning here?
Here we have Ariana Grande featuring Stranger in a Dinosaur Suit.
He'll never let his supermodel BFF fall. Never.
That look when you really wanted the creep next to you to have gotten his dino suit at a thrift shop and he totally didn't.
The slippers really drive this one home.
I feel like maybe Tom Hiddleston wouldn't be pleased with this photo.
He is living every bro's dream right now.
Sometimes, even James Bond needs a helping hand.
Yaaaaas, Hillary! Sashay right into the Oval!
Eat your heart out, Madge.
Pretty sure he's the first dinosaur to have ever been knighted, which is pretty cool and probably not ill-advised in any way.
I get the distinct feeling that Mr. Lagerfeld doesn't like Valentino's look.
Honestly, I'm never going to meet a celebrity because the thought of that gives me chest pains, so I might take a cue from my new dinosaur friend on this one.
Until then, I'm just going to pretend I'm this guy meeting Beyonce and living his best life.